Monday, October 13, 2008

A Revelation

No pictures tonight...I just thought I'd share what has been on my mind today.

Lately I've been frustrated that Jaden is not sleeping longer or doesn't want to fall asleep easily, or that he's super clingy during the day sometimes, that I can't seem to get my work done and keep up with the house. But, tonight I had a revelation. It came after we had completed the whole bedtime routine and instead of falling asleep, he sat up, clapped his hands, and started giggling! After we played for awhile longer - me trying to tire him out and just getting tired out myself - I realized something...

I don't really care if he doesn't sleep as well as he "should" as long as he's getting enough rest to stay healthy.
I don't really care if he's clingy during the day, because it means that he wants ME.
I don't really care if he wakes up at night and needs to be rocked.
I don't really care if he can only fall asleep nursing or dancing around the kitchen.

Why? Because he's only 8 months old. Because he's ALREADY 8 months old. Because he's not going to be this little forever. Because I don't think there is any better dance partner than a baby boy in a dark kitchen. Because I don't think there is anything sweeter than a baby asleep on your shoulder with his arms around your neck and his sweet breath tickling you.

So...even though I'm tired - I'll survive. Work can wait. The laundry will get folded later. I'll pick up the toys tomorrow (or we'll just play with the ones that are already out on the floor). The dishes were just going to get dirty again anyway.

I only have this baby boy for a little while. He'll be my son forever, but as a baby, he won't stay. Despite the other demands of life and my ideas, I'm determined to enjoy and revel in every sweet second that I can.

I remember my mom talking about how she loved to lay on the couch with me asleep on her chest. I always thought that was sweet. Now I understand. There's nothing better!

4 comments:

  1. Congratulations!
    This is a real epiphany and now that you've had it the "hard" times will be a little easier... at least for a day or two!
    Don't forget to take lots of pictures and videos now too. Once he starts walking it'll be hard to catch him.

    Have you tried putting Jaden in a backpack (or font pack) carrier while doing housework? Noah loves to come along for the ride. We've also resorted to the afternoon nap starting with him on my back as I take a walk and finish with him in his bed.
    Napping is not his favorite activity either!

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  2. Krysia,
    That is exactly how I feel!!! Some of my favorite times were the 3 o'clock feeding rocking in a dark, quiet room--just the two of us!! Although, I also understand the frustration of night after night of no sleep. Brileigh just started sleeping consisently through the night less than one month ago. Sometimes lack of sleep makes everything seem harder! But you are right, they don't stay young forever. I am amazed that Brileigh is already 15 1/2 months old, walking, climbing, jumping and a TODDLER (not an infant or baby anymore).
    My dad gave me a article that was in the Focus on the Family bulletin a few months ago, when Brileigh was sick, teething and getting up at least 3 times a night--it was called "Night Vigil" and was exactly this topic..that it the midst of a wailing child at 3 am, the revelation that somewhere your own mother had been there before...that we love because we are first loved. I still have it sitting on my desk to remind me--no matter what the circumstances give thanks always to God for your little miracle of life!!!
    Take care and things will get better!

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  3. a friend pointed me to your site -

    what a marvelous revelation you had!

    my two are 5 and 3 1/2. i still treasure (and tell myself to) the moments when they want to be held or snuggled. once in a while i even lay down and nap with one or both of them.

    you are right. housework can wait. it really can. just holding your child and playing and cuddling and singing and dancing and nursing and napping together - none of these are a waste of time!

    enjoy your little one, and don't use all your energy on things that hold no lasting value. every moment spent with your child has lasting value.

    (visit me, if you'd like, at bitsofsunshine.typepad.com)

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  4. Krysia,
    Your son is SO beautiful!!! I had totally lost touch with you because I had NO idea that you even had a son! Glad to hear that you are all doing well! I am enjoying your blog!

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